6 Wii U Games That Should Have Been Made

It seems like everyone with an internet connection and the ability to type has passed judgement on why the Wii U was such a commercial failure. Numerous reasons have been cited; including its weedy graphics, poor third party support and a name that sounds like a command to urinate (“wee, you!”). The prime culprit though is arguably the gamepad, a unique selling point that consumers didn’t seem to want and developers barely utilised. Presumably Nintendo looked to court a new wave of casual gamers with a controller that resembled their tablet computers, or maybe they just had some old LCD screens they were desperate to get rid of. Whatever the rationale, its clear Nintendo never managed to sufficiently justify the existence of its gamepad throughout the Wii U’s lifespan.

But let’s not be boring and dwell on this failure. Instead lets imagine Nintendo did make use of the gamepad, and dream of what games they could have made. So here it is folks, six Wii U games Nintendo should have made.

The Great PS Plus Swindle

Brannigan knew it was going to be a bad day. His wife had just left him, he had a nasty hangover and some punk had mugged him for his smartphone while he was out catching a Jigglypuff. He parked his car outside his office and wondered what fresh hell awaited him. Before heading inside he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the glove compartment. He’d be damned if he was working sober today.

Diary of a Video Game Aficionado

It’s rather easy to be a film aficionado. Your average movie takes about 2 hours to watch, and only occasionally do they require repeated viewings to truly appreciate. Similarly its easy to be a music aficionado. For your average Coldplay album it only takes about 90 minutes to get the full experience; 1 hour to listen to the entire album and then a 30 minute phone call to the Samaritans to have someone talk you out of killing yourself. Thus for the last 7 months I’ve made it my mission to complete as many and varied an amount of games as possible, so I can call myself a truly knowledgeable enthusiast. With such a large number of games available I set myself a rule that I would finish any game within a month of starting it. Here are the results:

Scorpio vs Neo: Has the Console War Changed?

When I first heard the word teraflop at Microsoft’s E3 presentation I misheard it as terror flop, and assumed Phil Spencer was talking about a particularly terrifying case of erectile dysfunction. But no, what he was talking about was something altogether more worrying. Something the like of which we have not really experienced in a console generation; a mid-cycle console refresh.

The VR Fashion Guide

The age of VR is finally upon us (again), and I know many of you have some very pressing concerns on the matter. Cost, hardware requirements and motion sickness are all valid topics of discussion, but let’s cut straight to the most important question; how much of a plonker will I look like wearing one of those headsets?

Even More Ridiculous Gaming Tropes and Traditions

Hello fellow gamers! I have written a follow-up to my last blog post on gaming’s most ridiculous tropes and traditions, in what is perhaps one of the most unrequested sequels since Kane & Lynch 2. Enjoy!

6 Times Gaming Tropes Were Brilliantly Subverted

In my last post I covered some of the most common conventions and tropes in gaming. As a follow-up to that feature here are six occasions where common gaming tropes were brilliantly subverted.

Gaming’s Most Ridiculous Tropes and Traditions

For an entertainment medium that is constantly keeping up with advances in technology, video games are so bizarrely mired in convention and tradition that they make the Amish look progressive by comparison. Just for fun here’s a critique of some of the more common gaming tropes and traditions.

2016 Console Buyer’s Guide

In the market for a console and need some sound and unbiased advise on which one to buy? Then what the hell are you doing on the internet?! Well, seeing as you are here you my as well check out this handy buyers guide for each of the three main consoles currently available; the Sony Playstation 4, the Nintendo Wii U and, of course,

Fallout 4 or: How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Follow the Objective Marker

I knew within the first hour that I wasn’t going to like Fallout 4.

I spent the first 10 minutes deciding what type of scar to give my protagonist, as is my wont. I even flirted with the idea of playing as a woman, but in my heart knew I couldn’t enjoy playing as a character that didn’t have a gruff voice and a penis.